At the Golden Globe Awards on Sunday, the presenters of the award for Best Actor in A Drama Series were Jennifer Lopez and Jeremy Renner. Now, I have to confess I have a wee crush on the latter. It's significant.
Now, I know that there's a script they have to follow and everything but it seems there's a moment of their pre-envelope opening spiel that wasn't on the autocue and it's gotten Mr Renner into a bit of hot water. And I'm not sure he deserves it.
Remember a few months back when that 'catcall' video was doing the rounds? If you didn't see it, here it is:
I've experienced this, and it's creepy. When I'm just walking around, just going about my day, just dressed in jeans and a t-shirt - nothing that tight, nothing that low cut, nothing that noteworthy, it fucking creeps me out when men comment at me. I say "at" because that's what it is - they're not saying it to you. It's a comment about your ass or your boobs as you walk past them. Even a "hey" or "hello" is a bit creepy when it's not said to your face but your rear as you pass by. Especially when it's accompanied by a "baby" or a "girl" - I'm thirty-six for fucks sake. I've HAD a baby and I haven't been a girl for a looong time. When you're getting comments like this all the fucking time it becomes harassment - it's not a compliment, we don't feel better for you saying it, it's NOT OK.
But what if I'm walking around in a dress with a low-cut neckline that shows off my boobs? What if I'm out at night, just walking to the bar or club? STILL NOT OK. What if I pass by you in a bar or club? STILL NOT OK. If you come up to me and say to my face what you find attractive about me? That's OK. Because you're telling me. You're not announcing it to everyone within earshot, you're not calling after me, you've told me, to my face, that you find me attractive. And I'm going to like that.
So I'm Jennifer Lopez. I'm wearing a dress that's so low cut you could see my c-section scar if it were any lower. And my boobs look fucking awesome. I'm a confident woman and I know I look good in this. I'm proud of my body. I know men find me attractive. I don't mind showing that off.
In case you haven't seen the clip, let me describe what happens next: Jennifer and Jeremy take to the stage and start to read the script from the autocue and list the nominees. She offers to open the envelope because she's "got the nails". Jeremy can't stop himself staring at her impressive cleavage and quips "you've got the globes too." And apparently, it was at this point that Twitter did a collective "ooh, NOOOOO! That's NOT OK!" and proceeded to say stuff like "and the award for Best Supporting Creep goes to Jeremy Renner" and call him a sexist misogynist pig and suchlike.
Now, I'm sure some women who think they're better feminists than me will tell me I'm wrong here but, if I'm wearing a dress that shows off that much of my body, I kinda want people to tell me I look good! If I was just walking down the street, minding my business then, yes, a comment like that would be creepy but I've chosen to wear this on a global stage. I'm not sure it's right to expect nobody to comment on it, and I'd sure as hell prefer to hear positive comments rather than negative ones. The man standing next to me might not have intended to say it out loud - I definitely get that impression. I've watched this clip a few times now and there's a hint of a rabbit caught in the headlights about his expression to camera immediately afterwards. It's a "Shit! Did I just say that out loud?!" sort of face - but he did, and I laugh. I laughed when I saw this clip. I was thinking the exact same thing...
What we have to remember is that this happened at the Golden Globe Awards. I'd bet that every year since their inception there's been a boob-related quip about some actresses choice of dress in relation to how revealing it is. Perhaps this explains why I'm not so bothered by Jeremy's comment as the rest of Twitter seems to be - have I been desensitised? Do I expect it? Usually such comments are seen in the press the following day, I'm not sure anyone has ever said it at the actual ceremony before.
I have to accept that my opinion of this has perhaps been coloured by my opinion of the man who made the comment. I have a crush on him. Though I can't honestly say that's automatically going to make me more forgiving - after all, I call out my husband for making inappropriate comments! I do have to admit, however, that there's a part of me that wishes this man was standing next to me, telling me my boobs look good (aside: what bra is she wearing, I need one of those!) so I know I'm not being totally impartial here. But then I might as well say I can't be impartial because I'm a woman. But then I'd also say no man could be impartial because he's a man...
A lot of people who've already commented on this have mentioned 'the objectification of women'. I know this is part of a much bigger picture. I know that if it's seen as OK to pass comments like this about women wearing dresses like that it eventually results in a situation where men feel free to pass comments about women regardless of what they are wearing. It results in situations like that depicted in the video above. But the key difference here is that the comment was kind of said to the woman in question. And she appears to have appreciated it. If that's the case, they why the fuck is anyone else getting so upset about it? Even between us women we don't seem to be able to decide where the line is, what is and isn't acceptable for men to say, or under what circumstances. I've already explained what I think isn't OK. This is OK by me. Even if it wasn't, I certainly wouldn't approve of the vilification Jeremy Renner has since been subjected to by the Twitterati. Say you don't think it was OK. Say why you don't think it was OK. But don't be abusive - that's not OK.
There's even more to this, I've found. It seems he's recently split up with his wife and the divorce papers she's filed... basically the rumour is that he's in the closet. I really couldn't give a shit and I'm not going to post any links to any articles about this because a) I don't have any, b) I don't want to search for any because c) I believe I've already said I couldn't give a shit? It has no relevance. It's gossip. I will still have a crush on him. Besides, I know a number of gay men who love boobs. When my gay male friends have told me I look good I've felt every bit as complimented as when straight men I had a crush on did. We can't deny it's feels really good when we hear a compliment. Especially when its about a part of ourselves we've chosen to flaunt. If you flaunt yourself and people say nasty things about you, or to you, that's disheartening. Even confident, strong people will get disheartened if they hear bad things about the few things they like about themselves.
Jeremy hit back at his critics by saying they should "lighten up". And I agree. I think his comment came from an innocent place, it wasn't meant with malice. He wouldn't have said this to a woman walking down the street in a t-shirt... at least I hope not. If he thinks that's OK then I'd gladly... let someone else explain why it's not. I'd try but I'd seriously struggle. I have a crush on the guy, remember! I suppose that a lot of men who do make such comments would say then don't mean it maliciously either, but then... why not say them to us? Why at us as we walk past you? Whilst I would admittedly be a little shocked if a random man came up to me on the street and said "excuse me, but I just had to tell you I think you're beautiful/ have a really nice ass/ have fantastic boobs" I'd appreciate it a whole lot more than him yelling "nice tits, love" as I walk past.
So... if I ever become famous, and I get to present a Golden Globe award with Jeremy Renner, I hope he tells me I've got the globes too.
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